Silent Night

If you’re struggling to get a turkey this year, here comes possibly the worst Xmas movie ever made. A bunch of insufferable school chums gather in a country house to celebrate while the world awaits impending destruction and mass suicide due to some deadly virus sweeping the globe. 

After the couple of years we’ve had, who would make this and, more to the point, who’d want to watch it? Being stuck with a cast of Keira Knightley, Matthew Goode, Lucy Punch and Rufus Jones swearing like troopers and bleating about Waitrose only makes things “faarking” worse. What a self-satisfied, self-loathing and heartless, humourless mess. Get stuffed.