And now, making a return, comes the annual favourite Trash Cannes, my own selection of awards, from various points around the Festival.
Best Film: Sieranevada or Aquarius – both films about matriarchs, families and apartments.
Best Actress: Sonia Braga, Sasha Lane
Best Actor: tough one, there weren’t many, certainly not as many as notable female roles. If a Quinzaine title counted, obviously Luis Gnecco’s Neruda would be my winner, but over on the main drag, Joel Edgerton might be in with a chance as he’d grab bit of Hollywood attention for his taciturn grump in Loving, or if not, I might give it to Adrian Titieni who plays the Doctor in Graduation. I’ve a sneaking feeling Adam Driver might get it for Paterson.
Best Surprise: Kristen Stewart showed great range in both Cafe Society and Personal Shopper – cool, brittle, fragile but knows what she wants and what she’s doing. A major star – even if a smile wouldn’t hurt now and then.
Best Music: American Honey’s soundtrack was great, but Aquarius wasn’t far behind: its Gilberto Gil Toda Menina party moment had me practically out of my seat, singing along.
Best DJ: Robbie Ryan, ace cinematographer and selector.
Best Drink: Chateauneuf du Pape on my table at the IMdb dinner, where I heard a great Eva Green story, by the way.
Best Food: Cooking spicy tuna orrichiete, rocket and parmesan salad on my one quiet night in, back at the flat.
Best Food/Drink Aperitif combo: Jamon iberico de bellota with exquisite Louis XIII cognac, in the Louis XIII suite at the Majestic. Bliss.
Worst Food: Opening night Welcome party, where I ate some pate-like substance a French cat had clearly furballed up while a dreadful wedding band sang a French version of Oh What A Night.
Worst Drinking Idea: 2am, inky, sticky blackberry vodka shots at the Oasis/Lorton villa party. “Seemed like a good idea at the time…”
Best News: Stephen Woolley and Elizabeth Karlsen producing On Chesil Beach, directed by Dominic Cooke;
Worst News: The return of the Carry Ons. Oo-er? Ho-bloody-Hum; The shocking decline of foreign-language films performing at the UK box office – to be addressed urgently.
Best Dressed: K-Stew rocked a lot of good outfits, on screen and off – loved her little pop socks in Cafe Society. But Kate Moss did the red carpet just the right side of slutty without losing her poise or cool. Liked Julia Roberts’ barefoot look, too. And Chloe Sevigny’s sun hats.
Best Lines: “Live everyday as if it were your last, and one day you’ll be right.” – typically cheery yet true Woody Allen zinger from Cafe Society. “Dreams is quick on the outside, but long on the inside” – The BFG, for once not saying’ things a little squiggly.
Worst Line: “She spewed some ectoplasm and then left.” – Personal Shopper – note to Olivier Assayas: never say “ectoplasm” in a serious movie in competition at Cannes – it belongs in Scooby Doo.
Best Dancing Film Exec: BFI’s Lizzie Francke, jumping at the American Honey party
Best Celeb chats: Samantha Barks telling me about a new musical version of Amelie she’s been premiering in San Francisco; Ken Loach admitting he, like me, has never seen Blade Runner – now there’s solidarity for you.