The Lobster

Although it won the Jury prize at Cannes, The Lobster * is horrid. Many people like it, so I feel I have to at least give it a chance, but I found its satire on love and relationships to be bitter and, far worse, inauthentic.

Colin Farrell checks into a hotel where you have to find a mate in 45 days or you turn into an animal. There are some deadpan laughs in this offbeat opening section but they’re not really jokes, more arch asides and ironic digs, all of which quickly grow tiresome and soulless.

The voice over narration by Rachel Weisz is dull where it’s supposed to be drily alienating, and the playing of a cast including John C Reilly, Ben Whishaw and Olivia Colman deadeningly one note. It’s directed by Greece’s Yorgos Lanthimos, none of whose films I’ve particularly liked, although some put him and his sneering takes on society at the vanguard of the European New Wave.

I don’t speak his kind of shellfish.